My earthly rock is missing...

Pam was always the one to help me when there were issues to deal with concerning my mom. She could remain calm and positive. It is one of the things I miss most about her.

For over a week we have been dealing with health issues with my mom who has been living in a retirement apartment since 10/09. It appears she will not be able to return there after this stay in the hospital. It's hard making decisions for your mom especially a mom who remembers nothing but the things she perceives you have done that she doesn't like. So I know whatever I do she will blame me.

She seems to clearly understand she can no longer care for herself but I fear the reality of the move will hit her hard. She tells me I'm mean when I try to get her to do things for herself and try to talk to her and make her use her brain so today I have resolved to simply say and do what I know she wants to hear. This is hard for me but I know it will be less frustrating over all.

This life is not an easy road and without Pam to keep me in check - it's even harder.