Tomorrow we leave for a week at the beach. This trip is always in the works and begins as we leave the beach the previous year. In January we searched and found an incredible house we could not afford - well without the help of friends who are going on vacation with us this year. Our dear friends Mike and Cynthia Benedict and their two children will be joining us. Many may think we planned this last minute after Pam's passing but in fact God orchestrated it last summer when Cynthia said she would love for us to do a vacation this year together - neither of us knowing at the time that Pam would not be in our midst.
Our bags are packed - food is sitting all over the dining room waiting to loaded - and at 10:00 am in the morning we will head to Topsail Island with the six of us, the four Benedicts, Jay's mom and my mom - oh and did I mention my brother and his family is already down there (just for the weekend) and will be joining us for dinner on Saturday night as we celebrate my 53rd birthday (Sunday).
We plan to take a little part of Pam with us and spread the ashes on the beach. She loved the beach so very much - she could search for the perfect shark's tooth for hours in broken shells and always found one.
I believe the Lord will bless our week even in the midst of the bittersweetness of Pam's absence. If you read this - please pray for us. I still cry nearly every day at some point, I ache for a hug from Pam and wonder if I'm doing everything alright for all our kids. I struggle with life and death and the meaning of it all - but keep letting my head rule as it keeps saying remember God is good and He loves you beyond what you are able to comprehend.
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Connie,
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog! I wish I had know about it. God's timing is good because now I know about your trip to the beach and about spreading Pams ashes and your birthday, etc. I will be praying that you will feel God's presence with you as you experience his healing this week. I hope you had a special birthday with your family. I love you very much and miss you actually. Maybe when you get back we can do breakfast again.....
Gayla,
ReplyDeleteI hadn't made this public - I thought it might help me express my feelings as they rise and fall. I'd love to do breakfast again. I love you too my friend.